Santa Has Been Kidnapped!

Sunday, December 7th-the kidnapping

Monday, December 8th-1st clue

solution

Tuesday, December 9th - 2nd clue

solution

Sunday, December 07, 2003

It's a blustery day at the North Pole, as most days and night are there. A few elves are gathered by the door to Santa's house. Even through the whipping wind and pelting snow they can hear that Santa and Mrs. Claus are arguing about something and it sounds quite serious. There is a unified look of confusion in their eyes as they press closer to the door to try and make out what is being said. Nathan, the youngest of the bunch looks up at the others,

"I can't understand what they are saying."

Sandra, a very beautiful elf, if there is such a thing looks at Nathan with disapproving eyes.

"Shhhhhh"

She holds her finger up to her mouth and grumbles.

Nathan follows by sticking his tounge out at her and turns back to spying on the argument taking place behind the big green door.

Suddenly, without warning there is the sound of something shattering and Mrs. Claus screams. All of the elves pull from the door as if it will bite them afraid of what they may have just been witness too and decide it's best if they leave.

Scattering together back to the toy shop Nathan and Sandra begin speculating.

Nathan looking frightened asks,

"Do you think ........?"

Sandra cuts him off,

"No, never! Remember that is Santa you are talking about. He wouldn't do such a thing!"

She places her arm around Nathans shoulder and tries to comfort him but wonders if she is comforting herself. Nathan looks up at Sandra and notices something wet on her cheek. Could it be a tear? Nathan thinks to himself, 'she knows more than she is saying' and heads through the door of the toy shop into the warmth of the room.

Efran looks up from his work when the door opens and shivers from the chill just let into the room. He sees Sandra and Nathan huddled together and goes over to see what is wrong.

The toy shop is beautiful, everything you think it would be. It's as if the room itself sparkles. But the worried face on Nathan is enough to dim the sparkle and Efran is concerned.

"Nathan, whats wrong?" Efran asks.

Nathan begins to open his mouth to respond but before any sound can escape his lips, Sandra interjects,

"Everything is fine"

She pulls Nathan closer and begins to walk away.

Efran stops her and asks,

"Tell me, what is it?"

She gives him a dirty look, the kind of look not befitting an elf of her beauty and responds,

"You know whats wrong! It's all your fault!"

Efran's cheeks turn bright red, much redder than the normal elf and he runs off knowing exactly where he is headed.

Santa is exhausted and decides to turn in for the night, but first he must make his usual stop. Undoing his big black belt, he sits on his throne and grabs the latest copy of the Scientific America. Settling in he begins to paroose through the magazine. Suddenly he stops on a page that seems to cheer his mood. His eyes buldge as he reads on.

'That gosh darn fool!', he giggles to himself.

"Nobel Prize Winner Dr. Ed Stump - Stumped for Words"

At last years ceremony Dr. Stump had been awarded the Nobel Prize for his outstanding work in proving there can be no Santa Claus. With his ingenious approach to time travel using his formula, I=m/cr*az*y he had rocked the scientific and fairy tale communities. However his glory was short lived when Mr. Claus proved him wrong in the most devistating of all displays.....

Suddenly there was a strange sound coming from somewhere outside the room.

"Mrs.? Is that you?"

Leaning forward he strains to hear ........ Suddenly the door bursts open knocking him in the head. The last thing he remembers is the sound of a bell.

Mrs. Claus is changing for bed and beginning to wonder what is taking Santa so long. She is still upset about the earlier incident but doesn't want to cause a fuss. She begins to head for the bathroom when there is a knock at the front door. Turning on her heels, slightly annoyed that someone would be calling so late she struts through the living room wrapping her robe tightly around her waist.

Opening the door she see Efran.

"Efran! What is it? Don't you know what time it is?"

Efran is out of breath and looking quite flustered.

"Yes I know but I need to talk to Santa. I think something is wrong!"

He pushes past Mrs. Claus and she follows close behind as Efran heads directly for the bathroom without hesitation.

"Efran! How dare you! Don't disturb San...."

She is cut off as Efran throws the door open.

She gasps and words escape her as she peers into the empty room and faints.

Efran looks to the floor and notices a lump of coal, some duct tape, a magazine and santas pants but no Santa.

Rushing from the room he trips over Mrs. Claus and falls to the floor hitting his head and becomes unconcious.

TO BE CONTINUED...........

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Monday, December 08, 2003

Mrs. Claus begins to come to and finds Efran sprawled out on top of her.  She reaches under his chest and rolls him off of her. The light of the moon parts her curtains and falls upon her face as she come to her feet completely dazed.   Slowly she begins to recall what happened to bring her to the ground with lightening speed.  Quickly she rushes to the bathroom door finding nothing but her dear husbands trousers, a lump of coal, some duct tape and the magazine he had apparently been reading.  Slowly she bends to retrieve the magazine still slightly dazed and manages to wrap her shaking finger around it.  Pulling it from the floor she notices a stray piece of paper fall out of the folds landing at her slippered feet.  The paper is torn and tattered.  Picking it up she notices scribbled writing and begins to read:

I have your husband!  I need him for something and that is all I will tell you.  If you are smart enough to figure out this puzzle I may tell you more. Now it's my turn to be merry!

There is a man looking at someone's picture and says:

Brothers and Sisters I have none,
but this man's father is my father's son.

Whose picture is the man looking at?

Frightened and bewildered by this seemingly confusing note, she rushes to wake Efran.

"Efran! Efran! Get up! Santa is missing and I think I may have found a  clue! Efran!!!"

Efran slowly begins to come to.  The look on his face is sluggish until he realizes where he is.  Suddenly he jolts straight up and the look of confusion melts from his face as he is confronted with the strangest looking note he ever saw.

"What is this?", he asks Mrs. Claus

"I don't know", she responds

"I only just found it now, right here on the floor", and she points towards the bathroom.

Efran pauses looking at the tattered paper for only a few moments then shoves it into his pocket and begins out the bedroom door.  Mrs. Claus follows closely wondering where he is headed.  Efran turns to face her before leaving,

"I think I have an idea.  You stay here, I will be right back!"

He rushes out of the house slamming the door behind him.

Mrs. Claus falls into her chair.  Bringing her hands to her face, she begins to sob.

Weebles has solved the clue.  Read the answer below

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The answer:

Efran runs to toy shop and bursts through the door. All of the elves look up very surprised by the entrance. Shoving straight past the wondering eyes he heads directly for Santa's reading room. Slamming the door behind him he begins rifling through the shelves. "The Key to Determining Naughty vs. Nice" by Albert E. Neuman Ph D falls to the floor with a loud thud as do many other books from Santa's library. "Decor for the Arctic Home" by Lynn Jennings, "Trouble with the Mrs.?" by Dr. Phish follow suit as Efran desperately tries to find just what he is looking for. Suddenly his eyes focus to the point of this mad search, "All Things Coded, a Guide to Hickbonics in the 21st Century" by Judd Bob Beerstien. Grabbing blindly for a pencil Efran begins to decode the kidnappers note.

Whose picture is the man looking at?

Nathan strolls to the table and finds the note and a book entitled, "All Things Coded, a Guide to Hickbonics in the 21st Century" by Judd Bob Beerstein." He begins to read what Efran had decoded and looks very confused. Finally, like a bolt of light it hits him. Running from the room with the note in his hand he shouts into the air, "It's his son! His son! Efran, Sandra, it's his son!"

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Mrs. Claus awoke in her chair feeling as if she had been sleeping with a great weight upon her.  She stood, dazed and confused.  As suddenly as she began contemplating how she had gotten there, everything flooded back into her memory causing her to fall back into the chair again.

'Oh how could this have happened?', she said to herself?

She heard a noise coming from the bedroom and bolted out of the chair like a race horse towards the sound.  Standing in the doorway she noticed the television was on.  How odd, she thought.  We weren't watching the t.v. last night.  Still rubbing her eyes she started for the off switch when she was halted by the images seemingly staring back at her.  It was a woman, about 5'4", very small, dressed in a housecoat.  Her hair was in those pink snap on rollers with a few out of place and slightly hanging.  It looked as if she had no money and no time to get herself fixed.  She was shouting and what she was shouting made Mrs. Claus very frightened.

"You see Jerry, it's like dis.  I gots all these darn fooled kids and all their daddy's don't wanna do nothin about it.  Well I don't care what anyone says but I think I'm at da end of my rope, if ya know what I mean Jer."

The camera switches view to show a middle aged man with the dumbest look on his face, as if he has no idea what she is talking about but you somehow know he does.

"Well Raelynn, I'm not sure what it is you do mean.   Explain it to me?", he baits.

"Well", she replies "I need a new sugar daddy is all and I think I got me the right kinda daddy in mind for the job."

She whips out from underneath her house coat a pair of boxer briefs that look an awful lot like Santas.  They have Ho Ho Ho all over them in red and little sewn on jingly bells.

The audience begins to scream with joy at the implication.   The man she calls Jer shakes his head and asks,

"Do you really think you are smart enough to make Santa your sugar daddy Raelynn?"

"Of course I am Jer!", she remarks and begins to stand up obviously agitated.

"Well, lets see just how smart you are Raelynn", he replies while rolling his eyes towards the audience who seem to be playing right along with their teasing laughter. "Lemme ask you this,

How many letters are in the alphabet?"

Raelynn smiles wickedly and lunges at the Jer fellow.  Seems Raelynn doesn't like what Jer is implying.

Steve, Jerry's bodyguard jumps from the front row and intercepts Raelynn's attack.  Holding her back with great force, he accidentally unzips her house coat .  She begins shouting as her womanly body in all of it's glory spills out landing all over the now red faced Steve.

"I know what it is you fool of a man! 26!  26 letters in the alphabet! What do you take me for? A fool?", Raelynn screeches accusingly.

Very calmly in spite of all that is going on, Jerry stands his ground and again rolls his eyes at the audience and replies carefully,

"Umm, no Raelynn, there are 11 letters in 'the alphabet'.

Spewing venom, she breaks free of Steve and launches herself full force at Jerry.  The audience goes wild as Jerry falls to the floor while Raelynn straddles him.

"Santa will be mine!", she cackles. "MINE MINE MINE!"

Mrs. Claus can no longer watch and as if the off switch were a fly she swats it to put an end to the nuisance.

Sandra pulls her ear to the door where Efran is taking his call.   She can tell he is upset by the tone but can barely make out what he is saying.   Straining to hear and plugging her exposed ear with her index finger she can begin to make out s-o-m-e-t-h-i-n-g.

"How could you xandabear? I thought we discussed this.   Oh my God I don't know what to say.", he pauses. "Well, calm down, calm down.  It will all be alright.". Then an even longer pause, "you shouldn't have done that.  Now what should I do?"

Suddenly Sandra hears Nathan shouting something down the hall.   She pulls herself quickly away from the door as to not be caught snooping and sees Nathan running with the note in his hand.

"It's his son Sandra! I figured it out! But I didn't know Santa had a son?", he questions.

"He doesn't silly.  It is just a clue from the kidnapper.", she says and asks, "How did you figure that out?"

Efran can hear the noises coming from outside of the room.

"I have to go take care of this.  Do nothing until I call you back.  I love you xandabear. I will figure something out." he says carefully into the phone and hangs up.

Opening the door he spies Sandra and Nathan,

"What are you two doing?", he asks.

"Nathan has figured out the clue.", Sandra replies and proudly displays the note.

"His son? What does that mean I wonder?", asks Efran.

"I don't know but maybe we will find more clues somewhere in the naughty list." says Sandra and she wastes no time in turning back to the library.

Raelynn turns off her television and smiles to herself.

"Ha!  That Jerry thought he was so smart.  Who's the smart one now?", she says to no one in particular.

Just then, there is a knock at her door, "Open up Raelynn, I can hear you moving around in there!".

It's here landlord.  Raelynn remains quiet hoping he will go away.  The last thing she needs right now is someone snooping.  'After all, she will have everything taken care of real soon', she thinks to herself and smiles.

Dana Weaslie is sitting on her front porch with her darling son Gabrial watching those bratty neighbor kids toss snowballs at each other when her phone rings.  Going inside to get it she pauses to pat Gabrial on the head and says, "be good my little angel, mommy will be right back".

She could really care less who it is on the other end of the phone and pauses by the Christmas tree to admire just how beautiful it is this year.  

Arriving at the telephone she picks it up and says, "Hello?".

On the other end of the phone is a voice she hasn't heard for years.  Excitedly she says, "Oh my goodness!  Is that you wobbles?   It's been ages!"

Wobbles laughs, "yeah its me Dana, I was just sitting here with Suzy.  You remember Suzy Sunshine don't you?"

Dana takes a seat at the kitchen table and settles in for what she hopes to be a long conversation with a very old friend.

"Yes, I sure do remember her!  How is she? Oh my god how are you?!"

Wobbles laughs again and responds, "we are both doing really well.  Suzy works for the local zoo and volunteers at the toys for tots program during the holidays.  I am married and my husband Gary works in the coal mines.   You remember those don't you Dana?"

"Oh yes", Dana responds "that's why I moved"

The both of them laugh and Wobbles asks Dana, "what's new with you?  It has been ages since we talked last."

"Well, I'm married and have an angel of a son named Gabrial.   We were just getting ready for Christmas around here.  My tree looks wonderful this year.  What about you?  Are you getting ready for the holidays Wobble?", Dana asks.

"Well, that's what we wanted to talk to you about.", Wobbles says coyly. "Would you like to get together sometime tonight?"

"Well, I have to check with my husband but it should be alright.  It's quite a drive though.  Is it that important it can;t wait a day or two?"

"Oh it's very important.  Suzy and I need someone we can trust. Someone just like you Dana.", Wobbles replies.

Dana begins to get all of the details when she hears a ruckus coming from outside.  Quickly she ends her call and rushes outside to see what is going on.  What she sees doesn't surprise her one bit.  It's those stupid neighbor kids launching snowballs at her little angel.  She runs to the now crying Gabrial to calm him and shouts, "You stupid brats!  You think you're so big and bad, well just you wait!  Wait until Christmas!  Santa won't bring anything for you this year.", she spits. "You can be sure of that!".

Muhama Buba grabs his beer and sits back into his recliner.   He pulls the remote from between his legs and switches off Jerry Springer.

'How come dat der stoopid woman can git on dat show but I kant?', he thinks to himself.  'Oh well I guess it dont  mattar mutch no more, I already got myself eveyting I need now.', and he smiles exposing a dark yellow and mischievous smile.